Phobias, Tattoos and Living
by MeridaPevensie
Summary: Spoilers all the way through Season 5 finale. AU to the ending though. could be Pre-slash or friendship. Castiel is human now, humans can be possessed. First thing he needs is a tattoo like Sam and Dean's. He has a phobia of needles, Dean helps him.


Request from zmwester on twitter. "OMG, QUICK! Someone write a fic where Cas gets an anti-possession tattoo!"

So It's not a very specific request, but that just makes it easier to write.

Sorry I've been MIA for so long my faithful readers. Things have been crazy, what with moving and looking for work and my muse has done a few runners on me. She's back now though and may possibly stick around for a bit.

Apologies if I screwed up the timeline on Sam and Dean's tattoos. I'm not certain when they got them, but I putting it as being sometime during season four.

I don't have ANY tattoos, so I skipped over the specifics of that. If you know the specifics then please forgive my lack of knowledge.

I actually have a phobia of needles that is described in this story. It's not pleasant and I have the exact same train of thought every time I get scared of needles. It's a horrible fear that many people trivialize and mock.

**Title: Phobias, Tattoos and Living**

**Warnings: Pre-slash, Shirtless Castiel, spoilers, language**

**Pairing/Characters: Dean/Castiel (pre-slash), OMC (Jack), OFC (Wilhelmina)**

**Rating: pg (language)**

**Spoilers: Everything up to the end of the season five finale. Except…well it plays out differently.**

**This may spoil you. Castiel and Bobby don't die, therefore Cas doesn't get his mojo back and he's still human. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, CW and Kripke do…the bastards. I do own Jack and Wilhelmina though and I'd prefer you asked if you borrow them.**

The tattoo parlor did not look at all reputable and Castiel said as much to Dean the moment they exited the Impala in the strip mall's parking lot.

"Cas, stop worrying so much. Sam and I got our tattoos here last year. Will is in the know about what goes bump in the night, you have to find a tattoo artist who knows what they're doing when you get these anti-possession tattoos done. If they aren't done right then they're useless." Castiel gave in with a long suffering sigh. Human actions were coming more and more easily to him these days and for every time he shocked himself through a new action or feeling or facial expression it seemed that Dean was even more shocked than Castiel.

Two weeks had passed since Lucifer had been locked back in his cage, taking Sam with him. For the first week Dean had lain in bed, recovering from the wounds that he had received from Lucifer in the final battle. He had barely spoken more than four words at a time to Castiel or Bobby the whole week. Usually those four words had been something along the lines of 'get the hell out'. After the first week Dean had come out of his self-imposed exile. Two days after that he sat down on the couch next to Cas, who was wearing clothes taken from Dean's duffel bag at some point in the last week. He had taken a long look at Castiel and said the longest sentence he had said since the graveyard.

"What are you planning to do now?" Castiel looked up from the book he was reading.

"I had assumed that I would remain with you? If that is not acceptable, Bobby has offered to let me stay here for the time being." Dean wondered if Castiel's speech patterns would ever become less formal.

"No, Cas, I'm fine with you staying with me. I just thought you might want to try to live some sort of normal life."

"I'm not certain I would be very…good…at being normal." Castiel said, finally closing the book he had on his lap and setting it to the side.

"You and me both." They sat in silence for a time after Dean said that until Dean spoke up again. "I'm not...I don't think I'm ready to start hunting again."

"Didn't you promise Sam you would stop hunting?" Castiel asked. Dean's face darkened and Castiel experienced a new emotion, one that he catalogued as regret for bringing up the topic of Dean's little brother.

"He wanted me to live some happy, white picket fence, apple pie life and I…I don't even know what I want, but I know I could never do that. The best I can do is try to be happy, but that's not going to happen that way." Castiel nodded his understanding; Dean Winchester was not the kind of man who could sit back and live a quiet life when other people were in danger. "Anyway, if you're going to stay with me then we'll have to get you trained to pull your own weight on a hunt. The research thing won't be a problem for you, but you don't have your angel mojo anymore so you'll need to be able to take care of yourself in a fight. Of course we could always just keep a few Molotov cocktails around, you seem to be handy with those." Dean managed to chuckle at that, the first laugh Castiel had heard from him in weeks.

Dean got up from the couch and walked toward the kitchen. "Oh and sometime this week we need to drive West Virginia."

"Why?" Castiel asked, puzzled at why they would take such a long trip when they weren't hunting yet.

"Gotta get you one of these." Dean turned to face Cas and pulled down the left side of his stretched and faded Led Zeppelin t-shirt to expose his tattooed ward against possession. "You're human now, can't forget that now."

And that is how, despite Castiel's many protests, he now found himself standing on the sidewalk outside of a tattoo parlor in West Virginia as dusk was falling around them.

"Are you certain…Will is still here? The shop looks closed." Castiel would rather not admit that he found the prospect of getting a tattoo a bit…frightening. Unfortunately he was fairly certain that Dean was already aware of his apparent phobia and he would probably be teased about it after he the tattoo was finished.

"I called ahead, Will is still here. Tattoos like this are usually done after closing."

"Oh" was Cas' only response. If he had been in possession of his power he would have destroyed the store before they had a chance to enter, but then again if he had his powers he wouldn't need this tattoo. Castiel tried very hard to not think about that. He followed Dean who was walking up to the door and knocking. A few seconds later a man, more a boy really, opened the door.

"Dean! We've been expecting you, come on in." They followed the boy inside. "Where's your brother, I was hoping he'd come back with you." The boy said in a flirtatious tone causing Castiel to recall Dean teasing an embarrassed Sam about his 'fanboy' about a year and a half ago. Castiel hadn't understood the reference then, but now he was more aware of the meaning now and he found himself wanting to laugh at the remembered conversation now.

"Sam's…he's…not around anymore." Dean said haltingly. The boy, Will, Castiel suspected, became very serious suddenly.

"Oh Dean, I'm so sorry. Can I-" his apology was cut short by the beaded curtain at the back of the store rustling and a blur of motion flew at Dean, resolving into a woman who pounced on him and knocked him back a few steps. Dean's misery from moments ago was wiped from his face.

"Will!" the woman detached herself from Dean.

"Dean Winchester! You never call, you never write! I only see you when you need something from me." She mockingly scolded him.

"Ah, Will, you know how it is." Dean said in an exasperated voice. She glared at him for a moment before her face broke into a smile and she looked over at Castiel.

"So this is the new guy you need me to ink? Where's that sasquatch brother of yours?" The boy shook his head at her furiously and she snapped her gaze back to Dean and her face fell before she patted him on the arm. "Well, let's get this guy fixed up." She walked over to Castiel. "What's your name?"

"Cast..eh, Cas. My name is Cas."

"Hmm… Well Cas, I'm Will." At the confused look on Cas' face Dean stepped in.

"Yeah and that's Jack over there," he said, pointing at the boy "Will's little brother." He got a mischievous look on his face. "Will's full name is Wilhelmina, Cas." Will turned on him and slapped him on the shoulder.

"You swore you'd never tell anyone that!" as quickly as she had hit Dean she turned back to Cas, who was completely off balance because of her swiftly changing moods. "Have you ever gotten a tattoo Cas?"

"No, I haven't." Finally, a question he could answer without becoming confused.

"Then Dean gets to sit in and have his hand broken, you look like you'll need someone to hurt when we're doing this." Dean groaned at that and then grabbed Cas by the shoulder to drag him to the back of the store, following Will and Jack through the clacking beaded curtain.

Will got Cas situated on a padded chair in the back and got right down to business.

"So you're getting the basic anti-possession tattoo then?"

"Yes." Dean answered for him. Will glared at Dean, but it clearly was not meant seriously.

"Okay then, take off your shirt Cas." Cas looked startled and gave her a questioning look. "We're putting it in the same place as Dean's right? You'll have to take off your shirt for that."

"Oh, right, yes" Castiel was clearly nervous and his hands shook as he pulled of the Metallica shirt he had borrowed from Dean that morning. He was ashamed of himself for being so scared of a simple process that he knew Dean and Sam had gone through before. He had once been a warrior and now he was terrified of a needle; he was pathetic, hopeless. Why was Dean letting him stay with him? He was – Dean was grabbing his hand. Castiel looked at the joined hands in shock and then back up at Dean.

"It hurts like a bitch the first time you get work done. I held Sam's hand when I got mine done," Dean admitted. "It helps if you have something to squeeze. Just…try not to break any fingers and we'll be fine."

"Thank you Dean." Castiel squeezed the hand in his own gently.

"No problem, I did it for Sammy too." The look on Dean's face said that this was far from being the same as when he had held Sam's hand.

Cas felt slightly less apprehensive about the artwork now and he hardly jumped as Will soaped up the area of his chest where the tattoo would be. She took out a small razor and shaved the area, soaped it up once again, and then applied the stencil. Castiel glanced down at his chest and saw the ink left behind from the stencil, wishing that it was that simple to get a tattoo. If only it could have been over so easily and painlessly. Alas, it was not. As the needle buzzed, he looked at the various drawings of tattoos on the wall and gripped Dean's hand tight while he lost himself in the geometric and serpentine patterns in the artwork. As time passed the pain receded and the buzzing of the tattoo gun filled Cas' ears till he could hear nothing else. The shapes on the wall filled his vision and all he could feel was the cheap plastic of his chair as it stuck to his back and the rough calluses that covered Dean's hands, marks of a life that had been fought for violently for years. He kept a tight grip on that hand, the warmth and roughness of it keeping him from feeling the prick of the needle jabbing into his skin faster than the eye could follow.

Finally, the buzzing stopped and Will backed up from Cas and put the tattoo gun down. She dabbed at the tattoo carefully and then put a bandage over it and taped the edges down.

"Dean knows all about how to take care of a tattoo until it heals, just listen to him and you'll be fine. Here's your shirt," she handed the faded garment back to him "but you might not want to put it on right now. Any pressure on the tattoo is going to hurt right now."

"Thank you, Will" Cas responded. He felt strangely tired and relaxed now and it took a tug from Dean to get him out of the chair.

"That endorphin rush is making you a little loopy Cas." Will laughed and slapped Cas on the back, Cas just grinned back at her. Dean laughed at him and tugged him back to the front. Will followed them out, Jack had disappeared at some point during the tattoo. "Don't be a stranger for so long again Dean," she said.

"I'll try not to, but you know how it gets."

"Yeah, I do. Sometimes mom, Jack and I wouldn't see our dad for weeks at a time. Mom hated it." She chuckled a little and then turned serious. "I don't know what happened to Sam and you don't have to tell me. I know how dangerous your life is, I just…he went down fighting right?" she choked up at the end and almost couldn't complete the sentence.

"Yeah, yeah he did." Dean's hand, which was still wrapped around Castiel's tightened almost to the point of pain before Dean managed to control himself. "How…how much do I owe you Will?"

"Nothing Dean, just promise to be careful and come back to visit."

"Yeah, you got it."

"You too Cas," she said.

"Yes, it was nice to meet you."

Pleasantries said, Dean and Cas walked out of the tattoo parlor and back to the car. It wasn't until they got there that Dean realized that he was still grasping Cas' hand in his own. With an embarrassed flush covering his face he released Castiel's hand and walked around the car to get into the driver's seat.

"You seemed to know them well."

"Their dad was a hunter, Will's mom was a teacher and she stayed home with the kids. We…me and Sam, stayed here with them a few times while dad was hunting." Dean looked contemplative "Sam's Senior year of high school was here. He was the same age as Will, they were in the same class, even dated for a little while."

"You should come back here to see them more often." Castiel commented, his observation was that Dean had a lot more family left that he thought he did.

Dean sat silently for a moment and then started the Impala. "Yeah, I really should…." He pulled out of his parking space. "How's the tattoo feel?"

"It's…okay, it doesn't hurt as much now as it did when she was putting it on."

"Ha, I know what you mean." Dean drove out into the quiet streets of the town. The sun had long since set and the road and the night seemed to create a vacuum in the conversation between them both.

"What do we do next?" Castiel asked Dean.

"Next? We go back to Bobby's place and I teach you how to drive my baby. I refuse to do all the driving." Dean glanced over at Castiel and sighed. "And then…I guess we figure out how to live." Dean's right hand drifted off the steering wheel and down to rest on top of Cas' hand where it rested between their seats. Castiel glanced over at Dean and smiled as he turned his hand over and gripped Dean's fingers.


End file.
